have u ever been caught in the middle before? between 2 ppl, 2 ppl with conflicting ideas?

ask me.



i really hate to be the middle person. caught in that position between my sis-es, my mum and my sis.




a lot of things that i have no idea how to put in words.



my mum, too much pent up feelings brought abt by things that happened long time ago.
my sis, too rebellious.

not to say that anyone has perfect character eg me, bad temper.



i really have no idea about all these EQ stuff. all these person to person relationships, how do u juggle them? how do make sure that u say things to suit every single individual and make everyone happy? make it a win-win situation.


it is indeed really hard to be a human being. if there was a next life...i think i will choose not to be one. a bird? perhaps.

sometimes, it's better not to know something that you were not supposed to know. makes you see things in such a cynical light, the act put on by the subject simply irks you becos you know the truth behind that facade.

it angers me to know that out of this few thousand chinese words we have to learn, only 10 will come out in the exams. chinese would have been much more fun to learn if not for the exams actually. jus think of our last few chi lessons...shouting the answers to the ppl at the bd to write and fight for the CHoCOlate!! hahahahhahahah....wy and her super fast hands (leading to bad handwriting)

looking fwd to the new lease on life 23 days from now. please release me.
and drming of life then already. i will not be home most of the time...hahah...seen enuf of my books and my study rm. cant wait to sell chunks of wkshts and past yr papers (eg Mr chang's papers WITHOUT ans!! grr) to the garang guni. sure my mum will be so prd of me. and by then, my table (which seems as if a crazy wind had swept over it) can finally see the light. literally.

my temper is real real bad. u would probably have experienced it if u had ever pissed me off before. sorry....i really cant control it at times. impatience? or jus pure short-temper...both

that's bad.

my poor keybd had been banged on twice today for (the comp) pissing me off totally. sometimes i dun understand my own bouts of anger and i totally regret after that. maybe i should go for some anger management class?

i will probably be taking tmr's chem pract with nostalgia, knowing it will probably be the last chem pract i will be doing in my life. i hope tmr's lock up will be endurable - disadvantage of being the first batch, but the good thing is, we get clean pipettes and burettes!

everyday i do my work with the knowledge that Os is coming. SOON. it still feels like something surreal somewhere in my consciousness. soon, it will be over. soon we will get our results back. time passes more quickly than ever before! sometimes i can hardly distinguish what happened yesterday and the day before. and i cant wait for it to be over. i suppose when it is over, all of us will feel a sense of 'loss'. it's been our motivation for the past year, perhaps 2 yrs. suddenly we will be so free we will feel weird to not be doing anything. school has trained us, in a way, into workaholics!

yesterday was our official last day in rgs and in 401. this probably has not sunk in anyone's mind yet, as are any parting occasions. our class has been wonderful! all thanks to very fun and hyped up ppl in our class + thanks to karen's boisterous laughter and steph's narcissism that always lightens up our classrm. shall we all meet one day,perhaps 10 yrs later, and all of us very different in our on way, there will be this chapter of our lives in rgs 401 that we all share. and perhaps, wanying may one day, really end up being the first to be married with 2 kids in ten yrs time, or esther earning her first million by 30, or anything at all, our memories remain and that we will keep forever in our hearts.

this week had been rather significant. our last chinese lesson in our whole lives, my last physics lesson (tht's a joy!). our last chem lesson with mrs tan!! she's a great tcher...i felt i had learnt so much more this yr! last lit lesson with ms leow, our dearest, comical ms leow..sighz

as for our class, there will be no more mass toilet-going sessions and terrorizing 315's class terrapin (charmaine). *sobs* it feels weird..it's jus too fast. summore our class ppl are going to various jcs...sighz. gd times end too soon.oh, i am so gonna miss the last row ppl..wanying! haha, hanna and i had a great time sitting beside her, luffing at her funny jokes and blurness. hope to see her arnd in sch next time!

bond's concert is today!!! arghh..no money to go.

7 days to chem pract
8 days to RJC open hse
17 days to Os

seems like i have been offending ppl a little too much...removed all those content. peace is good. not exactly in the best of moods these days

it is a painful dream. but it is possible. we can achieve it.