have i told you i love xiumin? HAHAH. xiumin if you're reading this, you're the bomb! ahhaha. she's my very blur/naive/funny junior, who's so gullible k. yesterday i msged her before the jazz concert to ask what flower she likes, and since i got her a rose last year, this yr i'd get sth different for her. i told her im gonna get her bougainvilla (however u spell that) and later i asked rachel to help me tell her she saw me carrying bougainvilla. and this dear little (blur) girl believed it k! HEY, im not so cheapskate k!! and anyway, she's one pro pianist k, but anyway, she's my favouritest junior! i know i can talk to her anytime abt anything!

im qt sad abt letting my piano go. i mean im of course jus a microscopically-skilled pianist (haha, that's why i quit piano ensemb) but if i had continued my lessons i could have been better than now. now when im busy, practising piano is the first to go off my schedule and i've neglected it for really long. i used to think i wanted to be a musician. hahah, how bu zi liang li.

seeing rach prep for jazz concert jus makes me miss choir more and more. the hype, the anxiety, the excitement, the last rehearsal rush, the relief, the PCB (post concert blues).

sigh

was reading about the girl joan chan on today's papers and was thinking that despite all these things we do everyday, life just simply boils down to just staying alive, being able to wake up every morning. are you actually grateful for being to wake up everyday? i plan my schedule for many days or weeks but what if i cant even wake up tmr? in fact, the less you know about the world, the less smart you are, the less things you have to be unhappy about. that's what i think.

i think friendster is so retarded. i keep refreshing and refreshing and it doesnt update. sch's fine. boring as usual. im gonna bring my colour pencils on monday to keep me thru the double lit lessons with colouring! that was my favourite activity since young k. when my mum went for some english lessons, she brought me along and i coloured in a corner. oh, yest rach and i went to j8 for lunch and o our way back to sch, we passed by this pasar malam at the j8 bus terminal. really cheap and entertaining stuff! like, she bought this pink tin slide box that contains cartoon plasters, for $1.5!! they sell for much more elsewhere, like at mini toons or sth. and i bought 3 A4 size sheets of winnie the pooh stickers for ONE BUCK. ONE BUCK. how many things on earth can you buy at one dollar nowadays man. AND there was wrapping paper for 10cents a piece if you buy 5! that's like DIRT CHEAP. its no gd quality but buy for the kick right, and it will come to be of use one day (that's my motto)

hai. this wk jus flew past again, and it's abt 5 weeks or so to end of term. THAT'S BAD. VERY VERY BAD. im trying to not use the net for like one or two days a wk. but my mum is very bad. she keeps asking me to check if my sis is online and i'll jus end up netting again. i need to lock the power switch or sth. math is qt a mess. lit is a rush. i've no remote idea why they wanna put themselves (and us) thru this cos they cud have jus completed last yr's bks quicker. geog is pretty rushed too. once again, i NEED TIME to sit down and consolidate everything. it's damn scary. A's. i kinda wish i will forever be at sec3/j1 - way better than not knowing why you slog for certain things in j2

Your Birthdate: October 17

You tend to find yourself lucky - both in business and in life. And while being wealthy is nice, you enjoy sharing your abundance with others. You put your luck to good use: you are very ambitious and goal oriented. Often times, you get over excited and take on more than you can manage. Your strength: Your ability to make your own luck Your weakness: Thinking you can do it all Your power color: Bronze Your power symbol: Half Moon Your power month: August

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?


This is SOO true

i really love madonna's songs. frm her new album i mean. last dec, i was SO in love with Hung Up cos its damn catchy! and i kept humming it and my sis was SO close to pummeling me k. and her other song, Sorry is really nice too. wat genre is this? i've no idea how to classify all these.

i watch MTV pretty often now, since this nice 7pm show on cable disappeared. and i was absolutely high when they played sorry and pump it back to back hahaha. i like!

anyway, the philo presentation is over! i spent the whole wkend immersing in Plato Plato and Plato. and also, we've finished the last NAPFA in our whole life last wk!! a milestone indeed, so this wk onwards shud be games :)

sigh. i really hate jc life. only occasional bouts of happiness. why? because i feel like everything we do is for the 4As 2Ds and a flying testimonial. why? why on earth must we immerse ourselves in this? have u ever stopped and wondered what u do all the math, science, memorising, mugging for? when we do question our purpose on earth, it will jus boil down to
birth - study study study study study- work work work work work work work - retire- die. ( i mean dun ur parents ans ur "why must i go to sch" question by saying "so you can get a good job next time" -- and what abt getting a gd job? to get a lot of money to retire? yeah yeah, contribute to society and all, but it's jus such an impersonal thing...very selfish here, but that's what i think)

that's what humans do on earth.

sad isnt it? and if you do actually stop and question and see the seeming lack of direction or greater purpose (to me at least!) i think one can get pretty pessimistic. all our daily joys and endeavours are so micro as compared to ur whole life span, which is summarised by what i listed out above.

humans are sad. in my nxt life, i wanna be a pet dog- loved and taken care of, no need to think about how to ace my exam or what schools to attend or what to work as or how to get a promotion. -woof-

had a career talk in the morn, and it just sets me into that melancholic mood. its such a damn hassle to do all the apps for schs and scholarships, that sometimes i will wonder, why put myself through all this torture? but if i dun try one day i might regret. GOSH. i've said a thousand times before how im really torn right through the center when it comes to THE future. if only everyone could have what they wanted.

its scary. CT2 is coming. ok, i've lotsa things to do after A's!!
-sewing lessons!
-dance lessons
-baking with my mum
-get a job!!!
-major cleaning up
-travelling!
-learn to drive! (omg! it feels so surreal!)
-learn the violin! (if i've the financial support)
-shop! (this is a constant lah. it happens anytime, anyday, anywhere)
-join rotaract

it'd be nice to take a gap yr to jus complete everything i wanna do. and after that yr i'd have learnt how to do so many stuff and will probably be a much more satisfied and wholesome person. ah well..not very practical to my parents i guess, taking a gap yr.

shall add on to that list the moment i think of more things i wanna do

i was watching jue dui superband on channel u jus now, and i thought that ppl should be more self-aware. i mean, it's nice that they really really have the passion for sth, and that they are courageous enough, and proactive enough to try to achieve sth for themselves. but some are jus...really....... u get the idea.

i've been SUPER unproductive today. so i hope to start gearing up over this wkend, since there's the gd friday brk as well. i really really need to kick the habit of netting daily!!! niwae, jus some random things.
when i get a dog in future, it will be either a
1) yorkshire terrier
2) small breed pomeranian (last time we went to my dad's colleague's hse during cny, and he had many dogs. one was a small breed pom, and it was pretty old alrdy but stillv ery small sized. and it was OH SO CUUUTTEEE)
3) schnauzer( last wk i saw this SUPPPERRRR cute schnauzer..prob lost its way or sth, then this maid took out a broom to chase it away cos it was early morn and it kept barking at the hse-i think there were dogs in that hse. it ran away super fast, so when i reached it, i tried to offer it food..haha, hmm, the only food i had was clorets mint AHHA then it stared at me with eyes that were covered behind its long fur. OMG SO CUTE CANNNNNN)
4) welsh terrier (i like terriers! so cute!)

well mostly i like small dogs but i think golden retrievers are really cute too! and olde english sheepdogs! (the ici dulux dog!!!)


mum!! i want a doggie!!!

so, cat's bday dinner was at hilton, and it was pretty fun, and there were very amusing games too. the food was good but i couldnt eat much and i regret that. after that some of us went to cocco latte and took some silly shots.



jingheng, my employee, is sulking. ahha


"welcome to our second home!"

haha, this must be my favourite shot of the night! grace chris and i were bored so we went downstairs to LV ahha. no lah, it was closed.


whoar, action eh! ahah, hope grace doesnt punch me liddat for posting this.




more silly shots of grace

sigh. so the fun's over and its time to study again. damn.

It was ORA in the morning. and qt glad we're all made to participate in it, cos it'll be my last..as a student at least. i am SO SAD that we couldnt go into the haunted hse!!! the queue was how long..sigh, but since the proceeds goes to a gd cause, shall jus take it as a donation. but am pretty curious abt what they planned. the food fair was alright lah, yes it was bustling but the space allocated was jus too damn small! so rach and i filled our tummies there, and i got pestered by my interact juniors to buy their drinks hahaha. still rmb in sec 4, our stall selling popiah and kueh paiti. so fun!!

waited for Rproject to start. bought VIP tix, so we had a VIP reception ( which was really not that bad) where they served snacks like fruit tarts and other finger food. The ruggers helped out with the ushering and all and roland was like the headwaiter. hahahah. and there were other interesting roles like VIP bouncer ( hahah) and crowd control. interesting..
well, the show itself was O...K.... i think that london and milan were the best, thought there were a few crappy ones. and the tokyo one was so hilarious! but i guess it's qt an interesting concept lah huh.

Cat's bday dinner was fun, and it was one of the very few occassions our class gets together. hahah, not to forget sin yong's wonderful magic tricks ( i have the bent 50 cent coin!) and scotty's sexy dance, and the 18 roses dance. pretty amusing. will upload some pics soon. the food was good too (duh!)
so, the long awaited night finally came and went and we'd have to find solace in our pile of work.

SIGH

i guess i will end my school life without having gone for an overseas trip with the sch :( hahah, it's so fun to go on trips with frens! rmb the trip choir planned to italy or sth? ( with debbie's 40 pg proposal which squeezed in "educational" purposes to appease the school authority) that didnt work out. sec 3 geog trip to m'sia? my class only had two ppl who wanted to go so nobody frm my class was chosen. rmb last yr's shanghai trip? cant rmb why i didnt wanna go..oh, i think my mum said sth like we'll prob be going there soon for a family hol. last dec there was laos trip with interact (which i'd really love to go....) but my family was going on hol(not complaining!). AND this yr, i have to give the econs trip a miss cos i'd been to the exact same places ( except the schs, etc) 2 yrs ago. SIGH. my pri 5 cousin is going to nanjing with the sch. P 5 leh!! when i was p5...wat was i doing? oh, i was a prefect standing at the queue of the noodle stall to "maintain order". hahahha. i rmb interact bod saying sth abt some CIP trip in june this yr. i WILL go, if its not too long! and during CV elective, my grp member siang ee, who's in chorale and interact also, was talking abt all the places that chorale went to! finland! and planning to go to czech- prague, etc etc. DAMN AM I JEALOUS. and when i heard that i REALLY regretted not joining chorale. hahaha. but sometimes i enjoy the slack life i have now.

u noe its so ironic that rg choristers dun join rj chorale? i mean our junior batch has ZERO rg choir girls. but that jus shows how irreplaceable rg choir is eh :) oh, there was one time my mum was suggesting selling my choir gown to garang guni. and i was like NOOOO. i mean, my mum is a no-fuss person, she jus throws things away like noone's business, as long as she doesnt wanna see them arnd. but i like to keep stuff, cos every single one of them means sth to me! and furthermore my choir gown!?!? that's like 4 yrs (and a lifetime) of memories man.

sigh. i HAVE to complain how expensive school is! i jus busted 36 bucks the prev weeks on 2 frigging lit bks. it's an expensive sub to take i tell u...we've bought 6 bks. do the math urself. AND our THICK BOOK of geog notes. in the morn we had jus paid $10 class funds each and it was gone in an hour, all to our dear geog notes. the notes usu amt to abt 200 + for the class. ANOTHER expensive (BUT NICE) subject. sigh money money. how rach and i wish money grow on trees eh? so when i wanna buy sth, i will jus say, "oh sure, i can fetch some from my backyard!" scientists, pls do ur resrch now.

econs s is driving me nuts! im like cracking my brain trying to understd the passage. niwae, have discovered many interesting sites to browse through, like online spree sites at lj etc etc. nice things to look at and while time away.

sometimes i wish i could be less ambitious, and just be someone who's easily satisfied. like graduate, find a job. full stop. but that's not what i want out of my life. it's weird to think how ppl can go to their office/ shop watever, day in day out. that's it. and that will carry one for the nxt few decades or sth. im not a stationary person, i need to be constantly on the move, i need to find new things to do, to see, sth that injects excitement into my daily routine. such wishes bring about lots of pain, when u one day realise its all not possible. but i will strive.